Let’s cut to the chase. We’ve all played with that guy before. The one who takes eleven practice swings, takes 10 minutes searching for his ball, wears a white belt that doesn’t match his outfit, and let’s everyone know when he got a par. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…we don’t like that guy. So if you’re him, and you happen to be reading this, this one’s for you.


Mistake #1: Talking to the Ball…that’s Not Yours


Come on, how genuine are you being when you’re yelling at your opponent’s ball while it’s flying in the air…straight for the bunker. Screaming “Get up!” over and over may seem like you really want your opponent’s ball to stay clear of the sand, but do you really? Probably not. It may be different when it’s your partner’s ball, but your opponent’s? Better not.


Mistake #2: Fashion Don’ts


We’re calling you out. If you’re wearing a shirt without a collar, please exit the golf course. There’s a dozen other fashion don’ts you should be aware of, (that includes you with the cargo shorts!), but wearing a shirt with a collar is classy, as golfers should be.


Mistake #3: Not Cleaning Up After Yourself


We all do it. We have a lie in the bunker. We’ve duffed it. We’ve made golf divots so far away from our ball that we hang our heads in shame. But what don’t we do? Leave the divots and footprints in the sand for the group behind us. For those that do…not cool. It’s poor golf etiquette and frankly, just rude.


Mistake #4: Crude Language…


…to the beverage cart girl. Don’t do it. You don’t look cool, bro.


Mistake #5: Being a Chatty Cathy


We get it. You had a bad hole. Move on. No one wants to hear you vent for the next 17 holes on how you had a rough start. It’s exhausting to listen to you go on and on, and you’re bringing bad mojo to the rest of the group.


Mistake #6: Taking Your 9th, nope 10th Practice Swing


Dude, just hit the ball. Okay, your partner and opponents might not actually say that but they’re definitely thinking it. Taking a zillion practice swings is annoying. And if you need to take that many, well, we question your game. Save us the aggravation, and yourself a couple Tylenol. Your future self will thank you if you just, hit the ball.


Mistake #7: Thinking You’ll Speed Up on the Next Hole


If this is the 3rd hole the pair behind you has had to wait, and there’s no one in front of you, let them play through. Leave your ego at the club house.


Mistake #8: Not Keeping Track of your Shots:


I think I got a 5, maybe a 6. Yeah, you definitely shot a 9 but nice try. Don’t be that guy who can’t keep track of his shots.


Mistake #9: Hitting the Buffet Before your Tee Time


Ummm…It might seem like a good idea at the time, but chances are you’ll deeply regret scarfing down that triple bacon burger and so will your cart partner. It just is what it is.


Mistake #10: Showing Up Less than 15 Minutes Before Tee Time


What was so important that you’re showing up that late? We don’t need any more agita (Pun intended…Jordan hit up that triple bacon burger).